The build up

I was more prepared than ever coming into this championship final. I had a great fall/winter of aerobic work, won my last two races heading into the trials, and had some great sessions leading into the champs. Here is one of them for you #nerds:

A week out I did:

1600- 4:09

5×400 alternating 60/62

1000- 2:25 (closing in 26 seconds last 200m.)

What was so great about this workout was how easy it came to me— I didn’t force anything. It gave me the confidence that if the race was fast, I was strong enough to hang and if the race was slow, I could kick with anyone over the last lap. I haven’t been able to do workouts like this in a long time, but months of steady consistency gives you the ability to eventually click these off. Momentum helps too. I haven’t really missed any days this years for training and more importantly, I came into USAs feeling like my best race was going to happen. All good things.

Off the track things were aligning as well. Mentally, it was nice to focus on one race heading into the champs. I toyed with the idea of running both the 10k and 5k or 1500m and 5k but I think there might be a little bit of self sabotage behind running two races for me. I get an out for not making a team by putting the blame on tired legs, trying to save myself for the later race, etc. It’s a little way for me to shy away from going all in on one. I needed to give all of myself to one race. If I failed, everyone would know I’d given everything, which makes failure more daunting but damn does it feel good to get over that fear and say, “let’s fricking do this.”

Finally, I really started to visualize a path of success for me. I was so nervous when I saw the start lists, not only because of how deep the race was but because I thought I could do well. That’s scary. It’s scary to think you belong, it’s scary to think you can run well. I kept pondering this quote leading into the race:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. You're playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

It’s really easy to show up to a race and do okay, play it safe, and feel like you can go home with something to work on. The real challenge is to run a race that might scare you, challenge your limits, and leave a lasting mark on your soul. That’s what I wanted to do.

Race day

This was the best U.S. final I’ve ever been a part of, and I truly believed that if things broke my way, I could do something special. But leading up to it, I felt calm. At peace. Warming up, I even caught myself thinking, “If it doesn’t go your way today, that’s okay — you’ve got a good life.”

My race plan was to hangout for most of the race. If it was slow, towards the middle, if faster towards the back. The race was very slow, and I spent a lot of time in lane 2 even 3 occasionally. However, I never freaked out that I was running too much. My dad told me before the race, "when it goes, you need to be there. Don't get boxed in." I felt good and smooth, it got a little choppy with about a mile to go as as I was slowly making my way up towards the front but the move I expected didn’t really happen. Beforehand, I was mentally preparing for Grant to take it with 3 laps to go or so. Instead, Olin Hacker took off with 600m to go and it was balls to the wall from there. I felt really good and I thought I had lots of gears left and even thought about sending it to the front with 400m to go but held back to the pack of 6-7 guys until about 200m. I used some extra energy to swing out wide, hunting for an opening and passed a few guys on the homestretch. My momentum was hung up with about 60m to go but I fought back again and was able to close in on everyone except Cole, Grant, and Nico.

The result.

I left it all out there and, yep… came up with another dreaded 4th place. But this time, the guys ahead of me were the Olympic gold medalist, a two-time World bronze medalist, and the American record holder. That’s a group I’m proud to be kicking with.

It’ll go my way one of these days. I just have to keep showing up.

Personally, I’ve reached a place where I know the results don’t define me anymore. I give it my all every time I toe the line. Of course I want to make teams — that’s how you build a career in this sport. But whether I do or not, I still get to come home to an incredible wife and two beautiful kids. No time on the clock will ever touch that.

My daughter has a little music book, and the last few lines always stick with me: “And Allegro was back home. It was still time to practice. So he did. And he did. And he did.”

All these 4th-place finishes? They’re just reps. Character-building moments. And when it’s finally my time, I’ll be ready.

Thank you all for the kind messages. I feel so much love and support before/after these races and it means the world. Finally, I told my good pal Sam Parsons, that I would share my “FAVES” link in my next newsletter. It is a link of all of the shoes, gear, and products I use on a daily basis, so please, check that out if you want.

— Drew